A Civil War General's Powerful Words to His Wife

Men, this is for us.  Ladies, you are welcome to read on if you like, but I have an an inspiration and an observation for my brothers.

I'm reading American Ulysses: A Life of Ulysses S. Grant by Ronald C. White Jr.  In it I am finding some powerful insights into the life of this giant of America's past.

As Grant continued to win victory after victory in the Civil War, his fame began to spread.  Not only did his troops admire him, he was widely admired among civilians in the North.  After pivotal victories at Vicksburg and Chattanooga, he was promoted to Lieutenant General, the second American to have held the highest (at that time) rank in the military.  The first was George Washington.

Julia Grant, wife of Ulysses S. Grant

Grant's affection for his wife Julia was deep and life-long, and fame took its toll on them both.  White paints one vignette of this:

"While in St. Louis {after Grant's promotion to Lt. General}, Julia, self-conscious now that her husband had become so famous, decided she needed to do something about her appearance. Long concerned by her strabismus, often referred to as cross-eyed, she would not face the camera when someone wanted to take her photograph. 

She turned to Dr. Charles A. Pope, dean of the St. Louis Medical College. Pope told her it was too late to perform an operation on her eyes. Devastated, she confessed to her husband her intention and disappointment. 

Ulysses, startled, replied, “What in the world put such a thought in your head, Julia?” 

“Why, you are getting to be such a great man and I am such a plain little wife. I thought if my eyes were as others are I might not be so very, very plain.” 

Ulysses drew her to him and said, “Did I not see you and fall in love with you with these same eyes? I like them just as they are, and now, remember, you are not to interfere with them.""

Brothers, whether we are married or single, there are important women in our lives: wives, daughters, sisters, girl friends, and others.  If our relationships with them are good, our words have great impact.  Grant's words telegraphed that he really, really saw her.....that his gaze reached into her soul, and that he saw the real beauty in her, not just surface beauty.  We can do that, too.

Grant's simple words to his beloved must have been powerfully important to her self image in those days.....days that were to become much more public for a country girl from the American mid-West.

We can do the same for the women that are around us.  We can focus on the gold that is within and when opportunities arise for honest praise, we can tell them about the gold we see.  It's easy to see imperfections and shortcomings.  Anyone can do that.  It is the work of the Kingdom, however, to see gold in others, and to help them see it in themselves.

Not only did Grant do this for his bride, but he did it even for his subordinates.  Most of his men loved and admired Grant, both because he was ending the war with superior skill, and because he treated them with respect and honor.  He even treated vanquished foes with honor.  This tells me that if the commander of all the armies of the Union can treat others with respect and honor, it's something that we can do as well.......first in our relationships with our families, and then with others around us.

Finally.....just an observation: we 21st century Americans are inundated with information about the personalities around us, more so than ever before.  It is a blessing and a problem.  It is a blessing to have access to so much information.  It's also a problem because men and women of earlier generations have much to say if we will only listen.....and sometimes it's hard to hear them with all the insistent voices of today.

With the telegraph, Civil War era Americans had better and more timely information than generations before.  Even then, however, literate Americans had a broad knowledge of the words  of the earlier giants of America and Europe, and even of Classical antiquity.  I wonder if these 19th century Americans were better educated than we.

As I have focused my attention on this Grant biography, I am reminded again of the richness of America's past and the giants that walked our land yesterday....giants whose words I want to hear to help me understand today and plan for tomorrow.

Read next: 
On The Christian Duty to Honor the Emperors of Today

A Civil War General's Words Still Inspire Still Today

I'm currently reading American Ulysses by Ronald C. White,  a new biography of Ulysses S. Grant, the American Civil War general who more than any other made Union victory possible.  There are all kinds of fascinating insights into the life of this extraordinary American here; but I'll mention just three.

Grant captured Confederate forts Henry and Donelson on the Tennessee and Cumberland rivers.  This was an important victory for the Union both strategically and politically.  Two of the forts' commanders fled leaving CSA General Simon Bolivar Buckner, Grant's former West Point classmate, in command.

Buckner asked for terms of surrender, expecting a negotiation.  Grant, woken from a sound sleep by an aide bringing Buckner's surrender note, replied with a note of his own:  "No terms except an unconditional and immediate surrender can be accepted. I propose to move immediately upon your works {fortifications}."

Grant's words were telegraphed across country and widely reprinted.  They resonated strongly in Civil War era America, and still inspire today.  They earned him the nickname, "Unconditional Surrender Grant", a play on his name and initials.

In accepting Buckner's surrender, "as Grant smoked a cigar, they talked about the size of the opposing armies. Buckner expressed surprise at the small size of Grant’s force, the Confederates having believed the number to be fifty thousand. “If I had been in command,” he said, aggravated that Grant had been able to attack the fort with so few men, “you would not have reached the fort so easily.” “If you had {been in command instead of the other generals},” Grant said  smiling, “I would have waited for reinforcements."

As he did with Buckner, Grant consistently honored his opponents in gray.  Here's another example, when Grant was asked about the victory ceremony in which the confederates would stack their rifles and the commander's sword surrendered:

"The surrender is now a fact; we have the fort, the men, the guns. Why should we go through vain forms, and mortify and injure the spirit of brave men, who, after all are our own countrymen and brothers."

Honoring our opponents in business, politics and debate, is a good lesson for us all, perhaps summed up in the words of a more recent fighter, Col. Tim Collins: if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.  

Read Next:
On The Christian Duty to Honor the Emperors of Today

My Dreams For America Are Not On Hillary Clinton's Path

I am going to mark my election ballot for Donald Trump.

I am going to do so in the belief that my dreams for my country, and for my family will be best realized on another path than that Hillary Clinton treads.  My vote will likely not decide the issue in a state that leans heavily towards her, but I will vote against her anyway.  Only one other candidate can possibly defeat her.

The future of our republic will in no small measure be decided by those the next president appoints to the Supreme Court.  A Clinton presidency will most likely appoint justices who believe the Constitution to be a “living document”, which seems to me to be a euphemism for “it can be interpreted to fit the needs of the current political climate.”  A Trump presidency will most likely appoint justices who respect the intents of the framers of the constitution and who believe that the constitution is a living document in that it can be changed by the amendment process.

Abraham Lincoln wrote of “a government of the people, by the people, for the people”.  Those words resonate in American dreams with the crystal clarity of a bugle call's pure note.  Yet today, it feels to me as if we are sleep walking toward “a people of the government, by the government, for the government.”  Certainly, no candidate perfectly embodies either one of these polar opposites.  But it feels to me as if Hillary Clinton is more about her and her government, and the people who can serve her and it.  That is not in my dreams for my country and my children.

I am not happy to vote for Donald Trump.  He has many failings.   But Hillary Clinton also has many failings.  Actually, I am unmoved by arguments that one has fewer failings or more.  It is for my dreams that I vote.

I considered voting for Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson.  California will likely vote heavily for Democratic party candidates as it has done consistently in recent decades….so my vote for Trump would probably not decide the issue, I reasoned.  I thought I wanted to be able to say that I didn’t vote for either.  But I finally realized that even if there is only a slight chance of defeating Hillary Clinton with my vote, I must appear on the electoral battlefield nonetheless.

People I love are staking out other positions.  While I might disagree, I still respect hearts that honestly seek the best for our country. Our different political views do not hinder my love.  I hope as this election passes into memory, we can rally in unity around the shared ideals of America and remember to earnestly pray “....for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”

Recently I emerged from the miasma of political chatter to remember again that the plans of God are not hindered by the election of a given president.  Solomon wrote, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will.”  Even in the midst of the Babylonian captivity, God moved the heart of a pagan king to send Nehemiah to Jerusalem where he rebuilt the city and began the restoration of the nation of Israel.

This says to me that by short path or long, the purposes of God will prevail.  I will not fear the result of this election, because God is good.  He is for us and not against us.

That is the foundation on which all my dreams rest.

Leadership in Christian Communities

Jesus told us how it should be with leaders among His followers. It's a way we can gauge those who lead in our Christian communities.....and a guide for our own leadership.

Here is what the Lord said: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28 ESV)

Put another way:

1. Christians don't lead as is the norm in our culture
2. Christian leaders are servants
3. Great Christian leaders are the best servants of all

As I look back over my own leadership history, I know that I have succeeded in this at times.  But I also know that I have often failed badly....even as I have led in the Church.

It's oh-so-easy to bring the top-down leadership patterns of the culture in which we live into our own personal leadership.  I know that because I have done that.

In the Kingdom of God, top-down leadership is a poor choice.  Good leaders in the Kingdom do the hard work of figuring out how to lead their community with love and service.

Women in Ministry

It is time for the Church to completely open its doors to women in ministry.  In order to fulfill the Great Commission, the Church needs men and women serving in every role their gift and character opens to them in local churches and church networks.

In some parts of the Church, women already serve in the same ministry roles as men.  But in much of the Church, the issue is far from settled, or a men-only practice continues with little discussion.

Much has been written about the rightness of women in ministry leadership and teaching roles.  Men and women much better equipped than I am to find answers from scripture have staked well-researched, thoughtful positions on both sides of the question.  I respect their hearts to serve faithfully and their diligent scholarship.

But I suggest a simple way to cut through the differences:   just decide that the cost of failing to use gifted women in strategic ministry roles is far too high, and the cost of doing so in error is low.

In a recent team-building exercise in our church community, a group of us tried to accomplish one simple task keeping in mind one simple rule.  To our shock we initially did exactly the opposite of the task.  We had tried to balance the task and the rule, and it turned what should have been a two-minute task into ten minutes.  Once we began to focus on the task, we were able to quickly finish.

On the issue of women in ministry, I would say that the Church has tried to accomplish the task (the Great Commission) while significant parts of the Church have been obsessing over what has seemed like a rule.  In this case, "the rule" would be the seeming Biblical prohibition in the letters of Paul against women in ministry.....or maybe just tradition.

Right doctrine and right practice are important.  On key issues of faith, the Church cannot be flexible. But the issue of women in ministry is not a key issue of faith.

From my perspective, we have misunderstood Paul's intent in writing about women in the Church.  I believe Paul's words were bound to the culture or cities he addressed and do not relate in the same way to us today.  And I believe a male-leaders-only tradition has blinded us to a significant opportunity to advance the Kingdom.

If the Church is wrong in permitting women to enter strategic ministry roles from which they are now excluded, the cost of that error is low.  No one's salvation is threatened.  The key doctrines and creeds of the Church are not contravened.  If we are found to be wrong, our gracious Lord will restore right practice to the Church, as He has done before.

Brothers, where we do not already, let's clear paths for women to come into every role of ministry...and not only clear those paths, but actively encourage gifted sisters to walk them.

Sisters, we need you like Barak needed Deborah.  Together we will win victories that the Church can lay at the feet of the King, victories that it could not win without you.  I am so deeply sorry we have delayed you and held you back.  But for the Kingdom's sake, join us now!

Now that you have read this, men, what are your thoughts on this issue?  Women? How about you?  Your comments are welcome below.

General Booth Born 182 Years Ago Today

In his lifetime, William Booth raised up and gave direction to the Salvation Army, one of the largest ever distributors of humanitarian aid and care for the poor. Thousands of men, women and children found Christ and newness of life through the Army in its early years. That continues today.

Known for its military organization and uniforms, the Salvation Army grew rapidly in its early years, and is now widely spread across the world.

The General's words still inspire today, 100 years later.